These are our responses to the questions & comments raised while we presented our first pitch to the class.

Feedback Responsesfor Rrk

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Red Rose Killer Treatment
The story starts out as a clip based in olden times. This can be deciphered through the date on the bottom corner of the screen, as well as the granulled old style filming. The voice on the radio speaks of a third murder by the mysterious ‘red rose killer’ who leaves a red rose at the scene of his every killing. The voice on the radio also describes the targets as young, attractive women. As someone turns the radio off the scene fades into current day with the effect of granulled type film being taken off as well as the text ‘current day’ in the bottom corner being displayed. We are then seeing an older man distressed in his sleep. He is shaking and mumbling. At this time there are flashbacks of scenes of murder- this is to represent what the man is dreaming about. The scene cuts from the dream to reality a few times until finally the man wakes up. There is no diagetic dialogue as music covers the man’s voice. He picks up the phone dials a number and then speaks into the telephone (we cannot hear his voice). There is a cut to an analog clock. A fast forward affect of the clock turning quick lets the audience know a long time has past- even though it has only taken up a few seconds of the clip. Afterwards, we see a women walk into the room. Her dialogue reveals that she is the man’s dead wife’s sister. They have not spoken since the death of Lily (sister and wife). The man seems to be in painful agony (coughing, speaking uneasy). He tells the sister that he has a confession to tell her. As he starts telling his story he pulls out a letter and describes it as the beginning of everything. There is a flashback of a woman writing this letter. His wife is the one writing to him to confess her unloyalty to her husband. She narrates the letter as she writes it, folds it up, and puts the letter on his pillow, followed with a red rose on top of the letter. The continuation of the film happens with a large amount of flashbacks and flash forwards into current time. The man confesses that he has killed his wife as well as 3 other women due to the rage and anger he had acquired from being cheated on. The clips of him killing the other women are tastefully shown with flashbacks of hints of killing and seduction. As the women he was after were unloyal women, just like Lilly. He confesses his killings to the sister. She is obviously very distressed and didn’t know what to think of it all. Before she has time to put her input into the tragedy of her sister and those women, the main character dies. She places one white rose on top of him as there was a vase with white roses next to his bed. This concluded the film with a quote from the bible talking about clearing away your sins, and red turning into white. “Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.”

These are our intial character profiles for the Red Rose Killer Story, new character profiles for the monster script are under charaacter profile 2 label.;


News Reporter
Around the age of eighteen to twenty can be either male or female and have a strong clear English accent. The character is required to wear a smart suit jacket and shirt

Sister Deborah
A female character around the age of forty she has lost her older sister who died suddenly with no explanation, she should be caring for her sister and is defensive and anxious whenever her sister is mentioned. Her costume consists of casual clothing including a jacket and handbag.

Red Rose Killer
Present: The character is elderly in his late fifties, early sixties. His voice is husky and faint because the character is on his death bed suffering from a fatal illness. The character is uncomfortable in his surroundings and constantly paranoid. His costume consists of a robe, rosary beads, old makeup and a grey wig.
Past: The character is young, aggressive and twisted who had become detached from reality because his wife committed adultery with a close work friend. He now is hurt and wants revenge to stop any other men from experiencing the same pain he has. The characters costume consists of long black coat with a red rose placed in the pocket and black trousers.

Script One

This is our intial script which we created for our Red Rose Killer Idea :

Script

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This was our orginal Cast Audution Schedule before we changed our idea from the Red Rose Killer to the monster story :

Cast Auditions
Venue: Media Classroom
17th and 18th of September
Auditions will be held during Break time, Lunch time and after school.

Costume List
Red Rose Killer
Present
Robe
Grey Wig Old Looking Make Up
White Rosary
Past
Long Black Coat
Black Trousers
Red Rose in pocket.
Sister Deborah
Trousers
Coat
Handbag
News Reporter
Smart Suit Jacket
Shirt

This is the first props list we had created for our Red Rose Killer story before we changed our idea.

Props List
Red Roses
A White Rose
Vase
Bed – Bedroom Set
Tombstone
Old Radio
Television – Everything in news report set
Knife
Rope
Chair

Pitch One

Red Rose Killer Initial Pitch

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Feedback Evaluation
Why is the Red Rose Killer committing these crimes?

The reason why the Red Rose Killer is committing these crimes is because his wife left a letter with a Red Rose on top confessing committing adultery with work mate of Mark’s. Now he is killing because he wants to stop adulterous women from putting their husbands through the same heartache he has suffered.

Are you going to include the theme of religion throughout?

Yes, throughout the time in the death bed the character will wear a rosary to be symbolic to confessing his sins. We are also going to use religious quotes at the start and the end to show that the sins have been told.

What’s the reason why the character is dying?

The reason why the character is dying is because it is god’s punishment for the crimes the perpetrator has committed.

Overall positives and negatives :

Positives
Good Story Line
Good character development

Negatives
Why is the Red Rose Killer committing these crimes?
Are you going to include the theme of religion throughout?
What’s the reason why the character is dying?

Here are a few questions we recieved during our first pitch feedback :

Feedback Responsesfor Rrk

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After receiving feedback from our pitch we decided in order to make our story clausable not random we asked students in our media class what “why would the killer turn to religion?” considering this is a strong theme within our film as we have religious quotes and references through out. In addition we also carried out some research with on the Internet of why people turn to religion.

Below is a table we made after asking thirteen people "why would the red rose killer turn to religion?", the slide that follows includes some research on Internet responses of why people turn to religion.

Why do people turn to religion ?

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After presenting our pitch to our class and trying to make our story clausable we decided that this idea would not be suitable as murders were too hard to imitate and the story was getting complicated, we decided to pitch a whole new idea to our class.